Should you give your dad safe sex advice?
August 21, 2009 by Rachel Goodchild
Filed under Family Life, Sex and Sexuality, sex, sexuality
Last November after 27 years of marriage, my dad came “Out of the closet”. My mum is slowly getting over this, but I know she still cries a lot and I get upset. I have looked for support groups for children with gay parents, but the only thing I have
found is support groups for people who have been adopted by two gay parents. My friends are all supportive, but I am so worried about things like AIDS. I know my dad caught an STI from another man, which means he is being
unsafe (?) . Do I talk to my dad face to face or what? I hope you can help
MY ANSWERS ON SUNRISE THIS MORNING
You can really tell you love your dad. i think it’s awesome you want to talk to him out his sexual health- i think as he’s already been honest about his coming out, you can up the game on your side and talk safe sex with him. older guys can often be quite blase about condoms- and the fact you care enough to discuss it rocks really. Just be prepared for alot of shyness and red faces on at least one side!
Have you thought about calling the New Zealand Aids Foundation to ask if they know where you might get some support? As for your mum- she’s probably eligible for six free sessions of counseling with Relationship Services- which might help get her started. What a big change for you all.
This sort of change in your life does cause grief. And that’s ok- imagine if he’d left your mum for another woman- you’d be angry then. Just because it’s been a powerful thing for him to publicly admit his sexuality doesn’t mean you and your mum can’t feel pain over this- it’s ok. Just allow you both to work through it. You are both allowed to go through feelings of anger, sadness and loss. That is all normal- and it’s healthy. All relationship breakdowns hurt, and this one is no different in that respect
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