The OTHER side of the Bed

I spent alot of this week being unwell. My daughter caught pneumonia, and when I went to get the other two diagnosed I discovered I had it too. Which explained the fact I was finding it harder and harder to get through my gym class, and was having long afternoon sleeps!

I’ve long learnt that you need to accept sickness as a good reason as any to stop for a bit and do things you’d not normally indulge yourself in. So I read ten books, watched a pile of movies, cuddled my kids, did enough work to break even and I planned a rearrangement of my furniture.

Yep- yesterday, feeling a little bit better, I rearranged my living room and bedroom. And while there is still chaos that I’ve currently run out of steam to fix I love the change.

The biggest difference has been moving my desk, which is meant to be my workplace, into my room. Now there are alot of people who say I should keep it separate from my sleeping space, but to be honest, this is better than it was before. Now I have to physically get out of bed to work- before I was using a desk that swung over my bed, that meant I would often start work the minute I felt I couldn’t sleep. I’ve moved my bed over a bit too. For some reason my room for the last two years has looked like it could fit another person in it quite happily- sort of me saving space for some mysterious partner that may or may not materialise out of thin air. Which is fairly ridiculous and unnecessary. Now- the room functions better, and it feels bigger.

I went from single bed to queen sized bed when I was married. I have shared my bed with a husband and then what felt like an endless supply of children since then. And yes, on the very odd occasion one of them slips in for morning cuddles (the kids not the ex!) but the bed is now mine. And I’m only just beginning ot realise how cool that is! I can sleep on one side, then, in the morning when it’s hot and I want to feel cool- I can just switch sides.

It’s mine. All mine

I think one of the hardest things to get used to when a marriage ends, is that suddenly things are just yours. They are not shared, they do not belong as a couple- they are yours. You can go out and buy something, and it’s not coming out of a shared budget, you can change the order of a room without thinking if it will impact someone else, and even if you have kids who you need to take into account- in the main it’s your decision.

And that is nice. It’s experiencing a taste of freedom every day.

I think many relationships you go into as an older you retain alot of that freedom. I hope they do. I like the freedom and pleasure of my own space. It’s one of the things I love most about being single, and it’s something I want to carry into a relationship. If I can’t find that? I figure I may as well keep on enjoying my own bed. (and all the cool corners in it.)

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