How to buy your wife a sex toy
February 15, 2010 by Rachel Goodchild
Filed under Couples and Partnerships, Couples, Families and Relationships, relationships
Before we go much further I need to make a confession. This blog is called how to buy your wife a sex toy but actually it’s MORE about how to NOT buy your wife a sex toy.
I’m currently giving away a vibrator to someone who is prepared to comment on how they found it, in association with D.vice .
In my post I think I make it reasonably clear that I’m looking for a woman, preferably single who is a vibrator virgin. I do have plans to have some “couple fun” gizmos to giveaway later in the year, but that was the focus of this one.
Around thirty percent of the entries are from husbands who have wives that have never used one, and they’d like ot have one to surprise them with. It’s a kind thought, but it’s not a particularly good idea.
Here’s the thing. Sex toys are fun to share with a partner. But unless you’ve previously discussed how fun it would be with your wife, suddenly delivering it to her is not going to get the response you want. (well it may in very occasional circumstances but are you going to risk it?) Giving a woman a sex toy before working out whether she’s happy with you, your sex life and where it’s going first is most likely going to start an argument that could end in her and that vibrator getting along quite nicely, though you won’t know cos you’ll be on the couch.
If you want your wife to be a bit more exploratory, TALK about it first. And give her time to come around to the idea. Let it be part of your play, your together time because it’s a fun addition, not because you think the sex life needs a little spicing up and this is a toy to help you get there.
Sex is first and foremost about communication. if you can’t bring up and talk about sex toys, then getting one delivered as a surprise is not going to help.
I’ve talked about bringing up the use of sex toys before. The key is to talk away from the bedroom, and make it about her- not your needs. You never know- she might be the one to suggest the vibrator first!
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At our store I always advise men who haven’t discussed the subject with their wife to get a couples toy, something like a mini vibrating bullet or vibrating cock ring that they can use together. These vibes are small, fun and not at all scary and once she tries it… he’ll be back!