Should I do Something for Valentines?

One of the things men don’t get about Valentines is that women do like something to happen on it if you’re in a relationship with them. They might say they don’t. But what they are REALLY saying is “Make it heart felt, and fitting to me and something that fits us.” It’s one of those “How well do you actually know me?”

I spoke on Breakfast yesterday about what men can do for valentines to make it special.

t’s a relatively new practice to recognise it here in New Zealand, but if you are in a couple and planning to quietly ignore it you may be wise to think again. If you’ve forgotten to put the rubbish out, feed the dog, pick up the milk or tell your partner you love her, this is the day you can get a little credit back and make amends.

Here are some simple tips to help you with the day:

Start with a Card.
Ok to be honest it’s not how big or glossy the card is – it’s what is inside it. Buy it a week in advance (you’ve still got time) and actually put some thought into what you want to say. If life is good together this should be easy. If you’ve hit a few rough patches recently, this is a really good time to remind you and your partner exactly what you first liked about them. What was special about them? And what good do you see in the future for you both? Write it down.
Don’t worry about making it poetic- but do write it in your own handwriting, as it’s such a rarity these days it will stand out.

Say it with flowers.
When love is young many women will say to a boyfriend that they aren’t the flowers type. When women are feeling all loved up and special they don’t need flowers to make them feel you care about them. However what men don’t realise is that this is not a life long understanding. If you’re in a long term relationship flowers are a good way to go, though roses aren’t necessarily the winner here. Go for flowers you know they like, that reflect their personality. Avoid garage or supermarket flowers- go for something that either is, or looks like it came from a florist.
Oh and girls? Most men like getting flowers too- just don’t give them a bunch of pink carnations.

Take Charge of Everything.
This one is expressly directed at men. If you want to have a really amazing night, rewarded by a mindblowing end, take charge of the date. If you’ve got kids, arrange a babysitter. Tell your partner that you’ll mind them while she gets ready- and do it. Book a restaurant, or buy food for a picnic, or just grab a bottle of wine and a pizza and a blanket. But take charge.

Once we get into long term relationships dating can take a back seat to just getting through the week together. Your partner is likely to be making the vast majority of little decisions in your life together from what to cook for dinner every night, to what goes into the kids lunches. Give one of the most appreciated gifts of all time, but just taking all of the little decisions out of her hands for the night.

Yep, Walks on the Beach
When I asked women what they wanted most besides the top three on this website last week, a few said they’d love to be wined and dined at an expensive restaurant or have a night out at a hotel. But the vast majority wanted walks on the beach holding hands, sitting under a tree watching the rain, lying on the roof watching the stars, or taking a ferry ride over the sea. It’s all about those traditional romantic things that will make a difference.

Yes, you can ignore all of this and say you’re just not the Valentine’s Day type of guy, but as than one husband said on twitter “I think it’s a load of rubbish, but it’s rubbish my wife loves so I’m doing it.” Wise man.

TIPS FOR NEW RELATIONSHIPS
This probably one of the biggest issues. If you haven’t declared your feelings and think you should on Valentines Day go for it. Just do it in a way that isn’t going to make you come across as a stalker. If you know where they live cos you pass their house every day, but they don’t know who you are, slipping a card into their letter box or dropping a cake at the doorstep can feel a bit creepy. One woman I spoke to said she came home to find chocolates on her dining table, though her house was locked.

A simple text can be ok if you are passing acquaintances. If you’ve been dating for a while, keep the gift and thoughts small, and hold back on gushing cards- this is where a funny card might be best. One rose often says far more than a large bunch.

Go out and share the love. It’s fun. And if you’re a single, go buy a bunch of roses and give them all out individually to near strangers. (Just not at their home!) You’ll brighten their day, and get them smiling.

Related posts:

1. WIN ROSES: What is your idea of a romantic date? Ok so Valentines Day is up and while I know...
2. I’m not opposed to a little romance After discovering that a madly romantic man can often actually...
3. Romance and the rules when planning to stand someone up To be fair, my rules for how to stand up...
4. What Are Your Sticking Points? A couple of months ago I was having a chat...
5. Leaving on a Jet Plane….. Three years ago this week I left my marriage. In...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.