Breakfast: Online Dating Tips

I sometimes forget that this website started from my book Eighty Eight Dates. It all seems such a long time ago that I whipped myself into a dating frenzy to research internet dating.

I spoke about this topic on Breakfast with Paul Henry this morning (was lovely to see him again!). It was a short segment so I’ve posted some extra information below to help out anyone who’s thinking about it.

(As an aside- I’m now blogging on Stuff about weight loss and I’m starting to see some difference to my appearance on camera from today compared to before Christmas. That’s motivating!)

Tips for successful internet dating

Internet dating can be a very effective tool. Numbers are growing all the time.- in fact around of a third of NZ’s singles are doing it. There are a wide range of sites available, and then of course, you can also use social media sites such as facebook, twitter and you tube to meet others. It always has an increase of numbers over the summer period, and many singles try it at least once.

The best way to find a great person is to make sure you are ready youself. If you’ve just gone threw a big break up, have just stopped having an affair with the boss, think all men are awful or even are still in a relationship and want an out, you need to avoid all types of dating.

You’ll need to spend money. Put the effort in and buy a subscription – it shows you are serious. The look for the ones who’ve spent money too. If they are quibbling about thirty dollars a month it’s not a great start.

Make a list of what you are looking for. Make it about qualities rather than attributes. Then read through the profiles looking for people who look like they match that. If your list is twenty items long, you’re being too picky.

Talk to everyone you can, meet as many people as you can off the site in the early stages. Meet for a coffee only, then you can plan to meet up again if you like each other. You can go back to writing a bit after you’ve met and make sure you take it slow.

Remember the following: people can look very different to their photos (and that goes both ways, so a bad photo may hide a real looker), avoid people who’ve been on the site for a long time, and people who have a pile of negative comments on their profile.

Make a decision to only stay on for two to three months. If you haven’t met someone, take a six month break then come back. The longer you are on there the less likely it is you’ll find someone “normal”.

Of course don’t give out personal information like your home address, bank information, your schedule because people could use it against you and you probably wouldn’t give out that type of information to a random in a bar so don’t give it out online.

One of the big differences to dating online versus in real life is you can develop huge on screen chemistry with someone that does not match up with real life. You allow your own thoughts to fill in the gaps that your other senses can’t give you. But if you use it simply as an introduction tool, rather than a way to speed up the dating process it’s very effective.You get a bigger reach, and hopefully the people are more likely to be available

I think the younger generation tend to jump into bed faster to show off all our tricks, and are missing out on the benefits of a slower paced relationship development. Internet dating can force us to go more old-fashioned in courtship funnily enough. It’s just a generational thing. If we started to engage our brains as much as we do our loins we might find it easier to meet someone who’s up for a longer term relationship

Remember it’s only one tool. It’s a good way to get your head around the fact you are open to love, but it’s not the only way. Remember to still socialise with friends normally as well!

Related posts:

1. BREAKFAST Nov 17th: Dating tips for men Lots of magazines talk about what women need to do,...
2. How much of your love life is recorded online? I got sent this awesome video- it’s a four minute...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.