When things don’t go to plan

One thing I’ve learnt in my time on earth is this: Life doesn’t go to plan.

Well…it can, but only when we plan a life that is completely under our control. It would be a lonely life- one where you could not talk to or interact with another person, and you’d have to make sure everything was measured. Your life could go to plan if your plan was to sit in one place until you died, and communed with no one. Then of course you could still be open to acts of god, but if they led to your death, at least it would ALL BE IN THE PLAN.

I happen to love planning. I work at least two years ahead of where I am right now. I have plans for everything from where I want my life to be, what I want to achieve and then even down to what is for dinner ever night this week. Planning helps me fit more into my life, and gives me more time to do what I love.

The truth is we can’t plan out everything. I never planned to be a single mother, though I’m thankful for my three girls each and every day, and it’s an honour to be their parent. I have friends who desperately want children, and never planned to be infertile. We don’t plan to get sick, to lose a job due to a world wide recession, have a bus careen out of no where and hit us, or for us to fall out of a tree and become paralysed.

Life isn’t about working to the plan. It’s about making constant adjustments, and finding the beauty in whatever your life becomes. While there are ways to get what we really want (You can stay in a bad marriage, you can find a fertile partner, you can adopt, you can never leave the house) it comes down to owning your options and knowing you’re choosing the best one for who you are right now, today.

So…if you’re unhappy, work out your options. We always have them- even if we discount them. we can only find contentment when we face the options we often discount, see we’ve chosen not to progress down that path, and find acceptance of the road we’re on right now instead.

While we can not control anyone else’s behaviour, and we certainly have no control over acts of god, we can control our own response. Life is happiest when we can find the joy in whatever situation we find. Even when things haven’t gone to plan.

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